Good Chinese Wife: A Love Affair with China Gone Wrong

By Susan Blumberg-Kason

A gorgeous memoir of an intercultural marriage long gone wrong

When Susan, a shy Midwesterner in love with chinese language tradition, all started graduate university in Hong Kong, she fast fell for Cai, the chinese language guy of her goals. As they exchanged vows, Susan concept she'd stumbled into an unique fairy story, until eventually she discovered Cai―and his culture―where now not what she thought.

In her riveting memoir, Susan recounts her fight to be the best conventional "Chinese" spouse to her more and more controlling and abusive husband. With prepared perception and heart-wrenching candor, she confronts the hopes and dangers of intercultural marriage, together with pushing aside her personal values and wishes to avoid wasting her courting and safeguard her baby son, Jake. but if Cai threatens to take Jake again to China for sturdy, Susan needs to locate the braveness to face up for herself, her son, and her future.

Moving among rural China and the bustling towns of Hong Kong and San Francisco, reliable chinese language spouse is an eye-opening examine marriage and relations in modern China and the USA and an inspiring testomony to the resilience of a mother's love―across any border.

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I'll basically take into consideration starting off my boots, resting my toes, and regaining no matter what heat was once attainable in a urban with no indoor warmth. If I have been fortunate, the blisters wouldn’t have popped but. unexpectedly Cai’s smile disappeared. “What’s fallacious with you? ” “I’m so chilly and my ft damage. ” “Why you usually so chilly? ” “Because not anyone right here has warmth of their houses and that i can by no means hot up. That’s why. ” I’d by no means snapped like that at Cai, yet now I felt relieved that i ultimately had. probably I wouldn’t believe so pressured to conceal my emotions any more.

Yet why might he glance unsatisfied? many of the married scholars in our dorm had either a wife and baby again in China. So while I observed dejection on Cai’s face, those different scholars got here to brain. earlier than i'll imagine how top to word my query, I blurted out, “Do you've a toddler? ” “Yes, a daughter. ” He paused after which smirked. “Too undesirable, huh? ” I stared at him blankly. It was once socially anticipated for younger married in China to have a toddler, in order that in itself didn’t come as a shock. My father were a widowed unmarried father whilst he met my mom, so the truth that Cai had a daughter wasn’t a deal breaker for me.

That I had fearful quite a bit for his safeguard, that I had felt trapped in my seat. That I had considered going to the police. “…and then I went to a bookstall and video store,” he persisted. “You understand, there are a few risky humans during this region. It’s now not continuously secure, even in sunlight with many folks approximately. ” “It used to be tremendous. not anyone troubled me. I even observed different mainland humans within the shop. ” once we flew again to Hong Kong later that week, Cai appeared to have loved his first stopover at to the U.S., yet he by no means expressed the will to hurry again.

I made a decision to sit down on a vinyl bench close to front door in case anyone got here by way of who may possibly translate that mysterious personality. Worst case, i'd need to stay awake all evening until eventually the sunlight hours shield arrived. And that may certainly be the worst case for me. except on lengthy overseas flights, I had by no means pulled an all-nighter. i used to be the kind of university pupil who labored forward to prevent cramming all evening sooner than tests or writing a paper the evening ahead of its time limit. pondering the daunting prospect of a foyer all-nighter, I appeared up, startled, as males and a girl unexpectedly entered the development.

That doesn’t commence until eventually I’ve labored right here six months. ” “We’ll have had the newborn through then. ” I paused. “It’s ok. I’ll name the sanatorium to determine approximately paying out of pocket. whatever will figure out. I’ll search for a role, too. ” close to the tip of my 5th month of being pregnant, I nonetheless held out wish of discovering a role within the subsequent month whereas i'll cover my bulge. Cai didn’t answer. Coming from a rustic the place the govt supplied everything—health care, schooling, housing, and retirement pensions—the notion of medical insurance was once international to him.

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